My name is Chelsea with Adopt Adventure. I am so excited to be here! Over on the blog you will see that Adopt Adventure is about enjoying this adventure we call life in a greater community. I was all about participating in telling my story because of the message behind it being to encourage other women through community. I have been through some hard things, and I hope that someone, somewhere can find encouragement through a piece of my story. Feel free to leave your comments and questions below. I will get back to you!
The adventure that I am sharing with you today consists of trials and tribulations that my husband and I experienced on our road through infertility. We are still journeying through what the word infertility looks like for us moving forward. I can say with confidence now, because of our journey from 2012 to today, that this word doesn’t have such an ugly meaning anymore. Praise the Lord.
As newlyweds, when we would start something, our plan was always to go from A to B. What we learned along the way is that all realistic plans should go from A to F, because you are likely going to be visiting B, C, D, and E before you make your arrival. I believe that God puts us in the place of the A, where we are today, and then places the desire of the F on our heart so that we will venture through the middle. Sometimes, the journey through the middle is easy, and sometimes it is really hard. Looking back, God placed those road blocks and turns, in the midst of our plan, to take us to His greater destination. He is a good Father.
My husband and I were married in 2012. We started trying to conceive naturally, even though we knew that we would have a hard time getting pregnant. God placed the desire on hearts to be good parents years before we had even met each other. Naturally, when we were dating, we discussed the gift of adoption and what that might look like if we became a family. Two years into our marriage, during the year of 2014, we were strongly feeling called to adopt. We started the Domestic Infant Adoption Program. We were in the midst of completing all of our home-study paperwork and trainings in the beginning of 2015. When March rolled around we were extremely excited because we were close to our final step to be available for the placement of a child. This was to complete one more training. One week before the adoption training, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. At this point, everything with growing our family went on hold so he could get better. Our energy as a couple, and our finances, now shifted towards getting rid of the cancer cells. Things didn’t shift entirely because we both still had to spend energy on processing the loss of being one week away from potentially having our first child. Something we had prayed for, and dreamt of, for so long.
The cancer was gone after a couple of surgeries without doing chemo or radiation. We actually opted for surveillance, because if testing showed cancer cells again, his type of cancer would respond really well to treatment if needed. By early 2016, my husband was ready to begin the adoption process again. We renewed everything that needed an annual update, took the training we needed, became active, and began searching for a child of God. The child that was meant for us. You can imagine the excitement and the love that we had in our hearts! Three weeks in and we got the best news ever. We had been matched with a birth family that was expecting a little girl. That was it! We were having a girl! I enjoyed a baby shower with the birth family, and we anxiously waited each minute of every day for the call that she was in labor, or that baby girl had arrived. As time went on, and after a couple of months of being matched, we learned that this baby girl was not meant to come home with us. The adoption couldn’t happen.
It was mid-summer of 2016 when we became an active family again, waiting for placement. Journeying on to end at destination parenthood. During this low, hard time in our life we felt stripped. By this, I mean stripped of anything we could do. Anything except for one thing; pray. We just kept asking, “Ok God. What IS your plan for our family?” 6 weeks later we welcomed the best gift ever from our son’s birth mother to our home. Our son, Hank. He will be 2 this October, and it is very evident God had him planned for us all along. He has felt like home since the moment he was placed into our arms.
We are actively searching to make Hank a brother, through adoption again. Our children are our world. Both our son and the ones who we have not met yet. We became an active family again for adoption placement 1 year ago, and we are currently just waiting away and praying like crazy. In between time, we had adopted embryos and miscarried the babies a little over one month ago. We are journeying on, because we have faith in the Lord’s plan for our family. Our hope is found in Him. He is a good Father.
I can say with confidence, because of our journey from 2012 to today, that the word infertility doesn’t have such an ugly meaning anymore. I can say that adoption rocks, the wait is hard and journeying on is so worth it! Peace out ugly infertility word! Peace is not found with associating the words struggle and infertility.
We have all been through hard things. What if we recognized the negative language we use when we talk about these things and turn it positive? For example, I will say or think, "We struggle with infertility and cancer." Feel what happens when I change it to, "Infertility and cancer is part of the story that has made our beautiful family." Make whatever hardship that is part of your story a beautiful thing. You're the boss of you and that 'thing' is not you.
From just one woman,